Why Women Cannot Give Women Advice

Take a look at this advice columnist’s answer – http://www.military.com/spouse/relationships/ms-vicki-why-do-i-fall-for-abusive-military-guys.html?ESRC=eb.nl – then get back to me . . . I’ll wait.

The woman giving the advice is clueless as to the problem, much less the solution.  It is indicative of how society views this issue.  We (society) want so badly to believe that the measure of a man’s attractiveness to women should be identical to his morality and worth to society.  In other words, we like to fool ourselves into believing that women should be attracted to men who are good and kind and gentle with stable, low-risk, reliable jobs, economical cars, and a kind word for all.  You know, the marrying kind.  But this ignores the fact that those qualities are NOT representative of the alpha-male that is most attractive to  woman.  Society sees the alpha-male or herd bull as an outlier, an aberration, a small sample of the fringe element of manhood – not something to be recognized as relevant any longer.  We have convinced ourselves that desirable qualities in a breeding partner are the same as desirable qualities in a life-partner and that is simply false.

This woman writes; “I want a happy marriage, children and a house with a white picket fence” yet admits that her last three boyfriends have been abusive.  What she wants, and what she seeks out, are two different men.  She is compelled by unseen biological forces toward men who exhibit herd bull tendencies yet she somehow expects these men to settle down with her and turn into some doormat of a husband who mows the lawn each weekend.  No wonder they’re being abusive.  It’s like putting a bear in a cage then being surprised when the bear isn’t happy about it and bites your arm off.  She needs to either accept the fact that she’s attracted to men who will never be tamed or do what most women ultimately do and lower her standards for a husband to someone not nearly as sexy but who fits into her nesting plans.

The advice columnist writes; “Seriously, I think there are a lot of things going on with you. I think I could put you in a room with 500 men and 499 of them are healthy, happy, sane, loving and ready for a commitment, and you would find the one guy in the group who is bad for you”.  This shows how much of the kool-aid she has imbibed   She equates sanity, happiness, love, and commitment  with normalcy, and classifies any man who doesn’t want those things as being bad for women.  She makes it sound like this woman has some kind of defect in her desire, while the columnist (and most normal woman she implies) would be attracted to the healthy, happy, sane, and loving men.  I call bullshit on that!

The difference between the woman who is asking for advice and the woman who is giving that advice is not who they find attractive, but who they ultimately choose.  While the woman asking for advice admittedly chooses the baddest of the bad boys then tries to change them, the columnist has obviously settled on a man further down that scale.  No doubt her husband is still a manly type of guy, but she would do well to remember what qualities lit the fire in her loins in the first place and I guarantee you it wasn’t that her husband loved puppies and cried at movies!

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How Jesse James and Sandra Bullock Prove my Point!

bullockjames,0Every woman in America wanted this relationship to work!  Without exception, every woman was disappointed when it didn’t.   On the other hand, every man reacted to the news of his infidelity with a yawn and some version of this response – “really?  this is a surprise?”  (OK, I realize not EVERY person fits my characterization but come on, admit it, almost everyone did.  Besides, if I can’t make broad sweeping generalizations then none of this works – so get used to it).

Why?

Because all women love bad boys, and all bad boys cheat on the women they love.  It is pre-programmed into our DNA; we can’t help ourselves.  Any woman would jump at the chance to try and tame a man like Jesse.  How perfect would it have been if somehow she managed to domesticate him?  Not completely of course, but just enough to keep him from straying.  Somewhere deep down, every woman was rooting for Sandra, thus the monumental disappointment when she failed.  Of course she was destined to fail, through no fault of her own.  The ending was never in doubt . . . at least not to me.

Jesse, like any real man, is an example of a herd bull.  By the very nature of the concept, a herd bull has to have a herd!  He’s not a bastard or evil he’s just a man – a real man.  Actually I don’t know the guy, he could be an asshole.  But the point is, he has no more capacity to be forever faithful to a woman than he does to never get another tattoo.

Herd bulls like Jesse are at the top of the pecking order – they have proven their manliness and thus earned the fear and respect of other lesser males and the desire of the breeding population of females.  — Now before one of you out there says “ewww yuck, I don’t find him attractive at all!”  Let me point out where you’re confusing yourself.  I’m simply talking raw, unbridled sexuality – nothing more.  I’m sure if some of you had to choose between him and Brad Pitt, you might dump Jesse.  Or maybe you wouldn’t?  That’s the thing about this – if we would just listen to our biological self and quit throwing up false societal barriers, we could all be a lot more honest.  You’re confusing yourself because you’re trying to reconcile too many desires into one Jesse James and that doesn’t work.  You may not find tattoos attractive, but I guarantee you find the type of man who might get one attractive.  You may not like to ride motorcycles (liar) but I know you find the type of man who rides attractive.

Herb bulls exude confidence!  Nothing is sexier to women than a good-looking, confident man.  What’s the moral of this story?  If you’re going to marry a herd bull, be prepared for the herd that follows.  If you’re a herd bull don’t get married, or if you do, for God’s sake don’t let her tame you.  Am I preaching infidelity here?  No, not at all.  You don’t have to actually cheat on the wife.  She just needs to know you could, at any given moment, pluck a cow from the herd.  That’s where Jesse screwed up.  He went too far.

The Herd Bull

The Herd Bull

Most women set …

Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.

Marlene Dietrich